“The girl at her music sits in another sort of light, the fitful, overcast light of life, by which we see ourselves and others only imperfectly, and seldom.”—Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted (thanks, eleanorrigbyyyy)
I have been a college graduate for three months now and I still haven’t figured out what happens next. My life is in limbo. I finally found a job at the end of July. It has nothing to do with my English-Creative Writing degree and it’s not very stimulating or challenging but it pays the bills and the company I work for is wonder so I am grateful. Still, the job is only temporary. I don’t have a date for when the job ends and I don’t have a plan for what I will do when it’s over. My apartment lease ends at the beginning of September. My roommate and I agree that it would be best for our friendship if we no longer lived together. She has an apartment waiting on her. Due to just getting a job, I don’t have any money saved to put down on a place to live. There are tentative plans to move in with some friends but I would only be living with them until December and then I don’t know where I am going. I had a guy I was seeing for a few months but in June that relationship dissolved. I am currently unhappy with my situation and I zeroed in on the guy-less part of it as the solution but honestly I think I just need some certainty in my life. I need a direction. Still, I recognize this living in limbo is of my own making. I kept finding temporary solutions because I am reluctant to make a definite decision. You see I had these grand dreams. I went to college to become a published novelist. Last year, I wrote out a plan for moving to England after I graduated. I thought at this point in my life I would at least be working for a magazine or publishing house. Also, there was the shallower, arguably un-feministic dream that I would find the love of my life at my University (I took enough classes dealing with feminist theory to be embarrassed by this admission). Those were my dreams for my life after college. In reality, I am still living in Atlanta, still single, and I work at an accounting firm. So now, I avoid committing to a decision until I can figure out how to turn my current reality into those dreams I had.
“And in time it will be as though men had never come to this perfect corner of the world—never called it paradise on earth, never despoiled it with their dream factories; and in the golden hush of the afternoon all that will be heard will be the flittering of dragonflies, and the murmur of hummingbirds as they pass from bower to bower, looking for a place to sup sweetness.”—Clive Barker, Coldheart Canyon (thanks, thisisnotahickey)
“[In winter, in the hour
when the sun runs liquid then freezes,
caught in the mantilla of empty trees;
when my heart listens
through the cold stethoscope of fear,
your voice in my head reminds me
what the light teaches.]
Slowly you translate fear into love, the way the moon’s blood is the sea.”—“What the Light Teaches” by Anne Michaels (via the-final-sentence)
I have a new follower, kaits4991, and she’s awesome!!! Welcome to tumblr and my blog. Now I need you and justcallmegin (also awesome) to procreate so I can have even more followers. Thanks :) Love you both!
“”I feel honored you and I broke new ground as TV moms who didn’t cook, didn’t clean, and didn’t make any money. In the 80’s, that made you a bad mom…but today it makes you Mitt Romney’s wife.”—Katey Sagal (aka Peg Bundy, Leela) on the Roseanne Roast. (via anthxny)